It's really been a while.

As usual, really not that I've got nothing to say, there's just too much that I wanna tell. So much that everytime once i get out of the bathroom with some ideas and sit in front of the comp, BLANK.

YES. I was very very emotional those few weeks back then. Worst of all, I'm not even sure when is this gonna end. It's still getting me. Perhaps even deeper inside. Not because I'm too stubborn to get over with it, but based on facts that keep appearing in front of my very own eyes. Contradictions.

Therefore, I've gone way too far beyond boundaries to seek for the truth. Or seek for comfort. Some kind of sense of security. At the same time confabulating to hide my jealousy desperately, to secure my pride. At least. However, the deeper I dug into it, the weaker I felt. Like, stabbing right into my ventricles repeatedly.

I have to stop this. I have to trust myself and stop getting upset. I saw something again just now. But I'm not going to question anymore. I'm not gonna fall for it and do anymore harm to us. I can't take this any further. Enough is enough. I choose to accept. Or rather, deny. I hope this new resolution will take care of the rest of this mess.
I'm actually telling myself that I'm feeling much better now. I need to get a life. Or get a grip on my personal self-control skill. But, I need time.

I'll be happy again. I'm positive about it. Smile. Good night and sleep tight LSY.